dear blog ... it was a long time since the last time I felt this bad. Maybe more than 2-3 years ... someone was telling the other time that I write blog only when I am upset ... I think its right ... when nobody understands me, its good to write ... I know you don't understand as well, but the good part is that I am not afraid screwing up the words and make you upset ... though its a matter of publishing ... I can't publish all the time (mostly good things that I write since they are private and deep feelings) ... sometimes I delete instead of publishing and sometimes I save it somewhere with some password (I lost the password for some of old writings and I don't think that they are retrievable)
But I think better than blogging is sleep ... it helps negative vibes go away and the real feeling come up